3 Reasons Spiritual Women Struggle with Being Alone & How to Find Inner Peace
Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely—but when we don’t feel at home within ourselves, solitude can feel unbearable. We fill the silence with distractions—staying busy, scrolling endlessly, or seeking validation from others—anything to avoid sitting with ourselves. But the discomfort isn’t really about being alone; it’s about what comes up when there’s no one else around to define us. When we haven’t built a strong, loving relationship with ourselves, solitude feels like a void instead of a sanctuary. The good news? This is something we can shift. We can learn to make being alone feel like a place of power rather than punishment.
The downsides to this include feeling empty and staying in unhealthy relationships. When we don’t feel secure in our own company, we end up looking for other people to fill the void—often at the expense of our well-being. We settle for relationships that drain us, tolerate behavior we don’t deserve, and stay in situations that don’t truly align with us, all because the idea of being alone feels worse than accepting less. That emptiness can make us overextend ourselves, giving too much just to keep someone around, even when deep down, we know we’re not being fulfilled. And the longer we ignore our own needs, the more disconnected we feel from who we really are. But here’s the truth: feeling whole doesn’t come from being chosen by someone else—it comes from choosing ourselves first.
At the time it might have felt like a safer choice to keep your toxic ex around versus spending free time at home alone. You told yourself it was better than the alternative—at least with them, you had someone to talk to, someone to fill the silence. Even when the relationship was draining, even when their words stung more than they soothed, being with them felt easier than sitting in your own thoughts. So, you put up with the late replies, the bare-minimum effort, the emotional rollercoaster—anything to avoid facing the quiet of an empty room.
This felt like it was the best decision for you because you had someone in your life that you cared about and never had to worry about being lonely. Even if they didn’t treat you the way you deserved, at least they were there. The idea of cutting them off felt overwhelming—because then what? What would your weekends look like without their presence? Who would you call when you had a bad day? Being alone felt uncertain, and uncertainty can feel scary. So you stayed, convincing yourself that some connection—even one that drained you—was better than none at all.
Unfortunately, all this does is keep you stuck in a cycle of depending on someone else to fill a void that you can really fill yourself once you learn how. The more you rely on them for company, the further you drift from learning how to be at peace in your own presence. Instead of using your free time to reconnect with yourself, set new goals, or explore what truly makes you happy, you spend it trying to hold onto someone who isn’t actually adding to your life. And the longer this pattern continues, the more it convinces you that you need them to feel whole—when in reality, your power, your confidence, and your fulfillment have been within you all along. You just have to be willing to sit with yourself long enough to find it.
Eventually, you wind up in a place where you get tired of dealing with someone else’s bullshit and would rather be alone. At this stage, it’s completely normal to feel a mix of relief and sadness—relief because you’re finally stepping away from the draining patterns that kept you from truly thriving, and sadness because you may still be mourning the idea of the connection you thought you needed. Many spiritual women find themselves here, realizing that being alone isn’t a sign of failure, but a powerful opportunity to reconnect with their inner self. It’s in this space of solitude that you can begin to trust your own intuition, rediscover your passions, and understand that your worth isn’t dependent on someone else’s presence. Embracing alone time means reclaiming your energy, setting your own priorities, and creating the space you need to grow into the person you were always meant to be. And remember, this journey towards inner peace is a courageous step toward a more fulfilling life—one where you truly learn to love yourself first.
It’s true that being alone can feel uncomfortable, even overwhelming, making you question your worth or seek distractions through external validation.
However, if you can understand why solitude feels so difficult and what’s really driving that discomfort, you can start to create a sense of peace within yourself.
When you shift your perspective, heal the fears that keep you avoiding alone time, and reconnect with your inner world, you’ll realize that it is entirely possible to feel secure, fulfilled, and even empowered in your own company.
Keep reading for 3 key shifts to overcome the fear of being alone so you can start feeling at peace in your own company today.
WHY STRUGGLING WITH BEING ALONE KEEPS YOU STUCK IN TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
At the very least, you’ll keep finding yourself repeating the same pattern of getting in toxic relationships. You’ll stay stuck in cycles where you settle for people who don’t truly see or value you—just because the idea of being alone feels worse. You’ll keep overextending yourself, ignoring red flags, and holding onto connections that drain you, all to avoid sitting with your own thoughts. And the longer this continues, the more it convinces you that you need someone else to feel whole when, in reality, that fulfillment can only come from within. Without inner peace, you’ll always be searching for external validation, leaving your happiness in the hands of people who may not have the capacity to truly love and respect you the way you deserve.
HOW EMBRACING ALONE TIME HELPS YOU BUILD CONFIDENCE FIND INNER PEACE
When we choose to embrace being alone, there is a possibility for us to feel more confident and happy with ourselves. Instead of looking to others for validation, you learn to trust your own voice. You start making choices based on what truly aligns with you, rather than what keeps you from feeling lonely. You become more selective about who you allow into your life because you no longer need just anyone to fill the space—you’re already fulfilled within yourself. And with that confidence comes a deep sense of freedom. You’re no longer afraid of being alone because you know that your own company is enough. This is where true self-love begins, and from that place, you’ll naturally attract relationships that reflect the peace and wholeness you’ve cultivated within.
3 KEY SHIFTS TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF BEING ALONE AND EMBRACE INNER PEACE
Making these changes is not as difficult as you think because the real work isn’t about forcing yourself to be alone—it’s about shifting the way you experience solitude. When you stop seeing alone time as something to fear and start viewing it as an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, everything changes. You go from dreading silence to actually enjoying your own company, from seeking validation to feeling whole on your own. And once you make that shift, being alone no longer feels like a void—it feels like freedom.
Take a look at these 3 key shifts to see how you can overcome the fear of being alone.
Feeling Uncomfortable in Your Own Company
It makes complete sense that you're feeling restless when you try to spend time alone. When you're used to filling every moment with distractions—whether it’s social media, work, or constantly surrounding yourself with people—sitting in silence can feel unsettling. Your mind races, searching for something to do, someone to talk to, or anything to keep you from feeling too alone. And underneath that restlessness, there’s often a deeper fear—of boredom, of loneliness, or even of facing emotions you’ve been avoiding.
The solution: Use Mindfulness to Find Peace in Your Own Company
In InnerGlow Growth, we teach you how to practice mindfulness in a way that feels comfortable and easy for you. Mindfulness isn’t about forcing yourself to sit in silence or empty your mind—it’s about being present with yourself in a way that feels safe and nourishing. Whether it’s through simple breathwork, journaling, or even mindful movement like yoga or walking, you’ll learn how to slow down and reconnect with yourself in a way that doesn’t feel overwhelming. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to sit with your own thoughts without feeling restless or uneasy. Over time, mindfulness helps you build trust with yourself, making alone time feel less like something to escape and more like a space for self-discovery and peace.
Seeking Validation Through Relationships
One of the reasons you struggle with relying on others for a sense of worth is because you don’t feel secure within yourself. When you don’t fully trust or value who you are on your own, it’s easy to seek out relationships that make you feel needed, chosen, or validated. You may find yourself over-giving, people-pleasing, or staying in situations that don’t truly serve you just to avoid the discomfort of feeling unworthy or alone. The problem is, when your sense of value depends on someone else’s approval, you end up sacrificing your own needs and happiness in the process.
The solution: Start Validating Yourself Instead
After you start doing this, you’ll find yourself slowly weaning off the need to seek validation from others. You’ll no longer feel like you have to prove your worth or overextend yourself just to be accepted. Instead of looking for someone else to tell you that you’re enough, you’ll start believing it for yourself. Over time, making decisions based on your needs and desires—not just what will keep others happy—will feel more natural. You’ll trust your own inner voice, honor your own feelings, and recognize that your value isn’t tied to whether someone else approves of you. The more you validate yourself, the more confident and secure you’ll feel—without needing anyone else to give you permission to be who you are.
Fear of Facing Your Emotions
It makes complete sense that you're feeling uncomfortable about addressing what’s going on beneath the surface. When you’ve spent so much time avoiding your emotions—whether through distractions, overworking, or staying in the wrong relationships—slowing down to actually feel them can feel overwhelming. You might worry that if you let yourself sit with those emotions, they’ll consume you or be too much to handle.
The solution: Create a Safe Space to Feel Your Emotions
Try leaning into your emotions instead of running from them. I know that might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’ve spent so much time avoiding them. But the more you allow yourself to sit with your feelings—without judgment or the need to “fix” them—the less power they have over you. Give yourself permission to feel what comes up, whether it’s through journaling, meditation, or simply taking a quiet moment to check in with yourself. Your emotions aren’t here to overwhelm you; they’re here to guide and protect you. When you create a safe space to process them, you’ll start to realize that feeling your emotions doesn’t break you—it frees you.
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