THE #1 DATING MISTAKE SPIRITUAL WOMEN MAKE: WHY INTENSITY ISN’T LOVE
Love that feels like a rollercoaster isn’t passion—it’s your nervous system reliving old wounds. A lot of women tend to fall for this trap of feeling these big emotions around love, mistaking intensity for connection. The highs feel euphoric, the lows feel devastating, and the unpredictability keeps you hooked. But here’s the truth: if love constantly leaves you feeling anxious, overanalyzing, or chasing validation, it’s not chemistry—it’s a trauma response. Real love doesn’t leave you guessing. It feels safe, consistent, and emotionally secure.
Not only does having rollercoaster love affect us in extreme ways, we start to exhibit anxiety and feeling emotionally insecure. We’re constantly questioning where we stand, overanalyzing every interaction, and mistaking inconsistency for passion. It’s exhausting, but it’s also familiar. If you’ve ever felt like the highs are worth the lows, or that chaos means deep connection, you’re not alone. So many spiritual women find themselves drawn to relationships that feel intense but unstable, thinking that if they just love harder, things will finally settle. But deep down, you know—love isn’t supposed to feel like a battle for security. Love is supposed to hold you, not keep you guessing.
Unfortunately, all it does in the beginning is make you feel like everything was meant to be. The way he showered you with attention, the deep conversations, the late-night texts that made you feel chosen. The energy between you was intense—magnetic, even. But before you knew it, the pattern started. He’d pull back just enough to make you wonder. Disappear just long enough to make you question yourself. Then, right when you started doubting, boom—he’d come back with just enough effort to keep you hooked.
It wasn’t exclusive, and deep down, you knew he was probably entertaining someone else. But you told yourself a different story. Maybe he just needed more time. Maybe he was scared of his feelings. And when your intuition whispered girl, he’s not serious, you drowned it out with tarot videos—desperately trying to make the message fit your narrative. You wanted the cards to confirm what you hoped was true, not what you knew was happening.
And then, the moment that snapped you out of it—the text that never came. He ignored your call, only to send a casual text the next day like nothing had happened. That’s when it hit you. You had spent so much energy prioritizing his needs, his comfort, his timing, while he put in the bare minimum. You finally saw it for what it was—he wasn’t confused, he wasn’t scared, he wasn’t "busy"—he was just stringing you along because it benefited him.
So, you called him out. Told him he wasn’t a good person for leading women on when all he wanted was sex. And instead of feeling desperate for closure, you felt done. Done excusing his behavior. Done over-analyzing. Done making yourself small just to keep a connection that never truly existed.
And that’s when you realized: Love isn’t supposed to feel like an addiction. It’s not supposed to leave you questioning your own worth or twisting signs into hope. Intensity isn’t love—consistency is. And the right love won’t make you feel crazy. It will make you feel safe.
But the truth is, lots of spiritual women struggle to stop chasing the butterfly feelings in relationships and go for the "boring" slow-burn love. And honestly, it makes sense. You’ve been conditioned to believe that love is supposed to sweep you off your feet—that if it’s not intense, all-consuming, and a little chaotic, then it’s not real. You crave the excitement, the deep emotional pull, the feeling of being wanted so badly that it feels like fate. But what if that intensity isn’t love at all? What if it’s just your nervous system mistaking unpredictability for passion? And what if the kind of love that actually lasts—the love that makes you feel safe, seen, and at peace—feels unfamiliar because you’ve never had the chance to experience it?
It’s true that so many spiritual women mistake emotional highs and lows for deep connection, leaving them stuck in cycles of intense but unfulfilling relationships. The rush feels intoxicating at first, but the constant uncertainty leads to anxiety, self-doubt, and emotional burnout.
However, if we can learn to recognize the difference between passion and emotional instability, we can stop chasing love that drains us and start attracting love that actually fulfills us.
When we shift from craving intensity to valuing consistency and emotional safety, it is entirely possible to experience love that feels secure, reciprocal, and aligned—without the chaos.
Keep reading to uncover the #1 shift that will help you break free from rollercoaster relationships and start attracting emotionally available love today.
THE COST OF MISTAKING INTENSITY FOR LOVE IN DATING
Living this way is extremely damaging to your mental health. You’re constantly on edge, overanalyzing every interaction, questioning where you stand, and mistaking anxiety for love. The highs feel euphoric, but the lows leave you emotionally drained, making you crave the next rush of validation. You attract partners who keep you guessing, who pull away just enough to make you chase, reinforcing the belief that love is something you have to earn. Over time, this pattern wears you down—you lose trust in yourself, struggle to feel emotionally safe in relationships, and start believing that love is supposed to feel hard. But it’s not. Love isn’t meant to be a never-ending emotional rollercoaster. If you don’t break this cycle, you’ll keep finding yourself in the same situationships, pouring your energy into people who only meet you halfway—while the kind of love you actually deserve passes you by.
OVERCOMING THE DATING MISTAKE OF CHASING EMOTIONAL INTENSITY
You have the ability to stop chasing emotional intensity in your love life and attract secure, fulfilling relationships. When you break free from the cycle of mistaking chaos for connection, everything shifts. You no longer feel consumed by anxiety, waiting for the next high or dreading the inevitable crash. Instead, you experience love that feels steady, safe, and emotionally nourishing—without the constant fear of it slipping away.
You start attracting partners who show up consistently, who communicate openly, and who make you feel chosen every day—not just when it’s convenient for them. Love stops being a source of stress and starts feeling like the peaceful, soul-deep connection you’ve always deserved. And the best part? You finally trust yourself enough to walk away from anything that doesn’t align with that.
THE #1 SHIFT TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL INTENSITY IN DATING AND ATTRACT SECURE LOVE
Yes, it's true you may be feeling addicted to the highs and lows of love but it doesn’t have to be this way. Right now, love feels like an emotional rollercoaster—thrilling one moment, gut-wrenching the next. You’re constantly chasing the next high, mistaking inconsistency for chemistry, and feeling anxious when things aren’t intense. But that cycle is draining, and deep down, you know it’s not sustainable.
When you make this shift, love stops feeling like a game of emotional survival. Instead of questioning where you stand, you feel secure, grounded, and deeply valued. Instead of craving the chase, you start prioritizing connection that feels safe, steady, and fulfilling. Love becomes something that adds to your life, rather than consuming it. And most importantly? You finally trust yourself enough to walk away from relationships that thrive on instability—because you know you deserve better.
Take a look at this shift to see how you can attract secure love.
Addictive Chaos
One of the reasons you struggle with being fully at peace in your love life is because you’ve been conditioned to crave the emotional highs and lows. You mistake the rush of uncertainty for passion, the longing for connection for chemistry, and the rollercoaster of emotions for something deep and meaningful. But in reality, confusing emotional intensity with real love keeps you stuck in cycles of anxiety, uncertainty, and unfulfilling relationships.
Spiritual women often mistake the highs and lows of a connection for deep passion, when in reality, it's their nervous system reacting to inconsistency and emotional unavailability. You’re not feeling a soul-deep connection—you’re feeling the effects of someone giving just enough to keep you hooked. You find yourself chasing emotionally unavailable partners who breadcrumb, pull away, and only engage on their terms. You mistake chemistry for connection, making it hard to recognize what a truly stable, healthy relationship looks like. When the intensity fades, so does their effort, leaving you feeling anxious, unworthy, or like you’re somehow “too much.” And when you do come across stable, consistent love, it almost feels boring—because you're so used to the chaos.
The solution: Regulate your nervous system
When you do this you will be able to slow down and stop chasing the other person’s validation. Instead of feeling like love has to be intense, unpredictable, or hard to earn, you’ll start recognizing that true connection feels steady, safe, and deeply fulfilling—without the emotional whiplash.
Regulating your nervous system means retraining your body to feel comfortable with stability, rather than addicted to the highs and lows of inconsistent love. When you heal this pattern, you won’t mistake someone’s mixed signals for chemistry. You won’t feel anxious when things feel calm. You’ll no longer need to prove your worth to keep someone interested. Instead, you’ll naturally gravitate toward partners who show up with clarity, consistency, and emotional safety.
This shift allows you to trust yourself more in love. You’ll start recognizing red flags before getting emotionally attached. You’ll stop tolerating inconsistency. And most importantly, you’ll start choosing connections that make you feel at peace, rather than in a constant state of overthinking and emotional chasing.
Real love isn’t about how intensely someone makes your heart race—it’s about how safe and seen you feel in their presence. When you regulate your nervous system, you stop settling for the rollercoaster and start attracting the kind of love that actually lasts.
Breaking free from the cycle of emotional intensity in relationships can feel empowering and liberating. Imagine love that feels secure instead of anxiety-inducing, consistent instead of unpredictable, and nourishing instead of draining.
You absolutely can attract emotionally available love without chasing, overgiving, or losing yourself in the process.
And in Attract the Right Love: A 3-Day Challenge, you’ll learn exactly how to make that shift.
Join the challenge now to stop mistaking chaos for connection and start calling in love that feels safe, stable, and deeply fulfilling. Spots are limited—sign up today!